malmo58’s blog

Opened the window this morning to see two inches of snow on the ground - and more falling. Was heading for the ferry to go to the Hawk girls' game at Newbury when the phone call came from Lisa to say it was off - the pitch was under six inches of the white stuff!

At least there was the Bahrain Grand Prix, but dreams of a BMW win crumbled immediately as Massa and Raikkonen took the lead from the start and stayed there. A BMW 3/4 was pretty good overall and did put them top of the constructors' championship for now, but staying there is going to be tough with the two guys in red getting into their stride. Another disaster for poor old Lewis :(

Went over to Westleigh Park early to catch the Portsmouth v West Brom semi-final on the telly. Again there was no cooked grub on offer as the cooks were tied up with the corporate hospitality next door, so made do with a Peperami to accompany my first Magners. Just after I arrived a rumour spread round the adjacent table that Hawks were going to sign Linvoy Primus on loan for the rest of the season.

Got text messages from Hardcore Sue and Jade, both Portsmouth fans, as the semi kicked off, and both of them kept up exchanges with me on and off through the game. The semi was a bit of a bore to be honest, but Kanu's solitary goal left the horde of Pompey fans in the clubhouse, and Hardcore Sue and Jade, happy enough. As the Pompey crowd began their celebration party I crossed the road to The Heron to get something to eat.

Hawks' opponents were Sutton, who've been rock-bottom of the table all season and were already all but mathematically down. The game was no turkey shoot, though; Sutton, able to just play for the hell of it now the pressure of fighting for survival was gone, really took the game to the Hawks for much of the first half, but on the stroke of half-time Luke Nightingale got on the end of a Charlie Henry cross to bag his first goal for us.

After the break Hawks turned it on, and in the 56th minute Gavin McCallum scored with a lovely diagonal shot from the edge of the six-yard box. When Trevor announced that Comply Or Die had won the Grand National, two men in the front row broke into riotous celebratory cheers. 2-0 was how it ended; good to see the Hawks win again even though we're only playing for pride now.

Home for the start of the new Doctor Who. Great story as usual, and I love Catherine Tate who proved she is a fine straight actress. Just as well that's there to watch on Saturday evenings now as Harry Hill's TV Burp finished tonight :(

More crap. Row with me ma this morning. Bad-tempered bloke on the phones just after 1pm who gave me a bad time and in the end announced that he wasn't going to take part any more and hung up. Can't go round Katherine's as she's got a cold.

I need some love.

Not a good shift. I was already feeling stressed as a dear friend and I have had a disagreement and I haven't heard from her since, and then last night while watching The Prisoner on ITV4 I managed to waste most of a big bottle of Hoegaarden by knocking it with my hand and sending it flying all over the floor - as well as the loss of lots of good beer, major mop-up operation needed.

Then today, second call in, I was refused by a guy who claimed he was "backing out of all these things" (all what things? There's only us asking him to do surveys, surely?) A couple of my later respondents did the interviews all right but were still heavy going (the last one was over a bad mobile connection, with a man whose responses to a fair few of the questions - he was answering for all his family - was "I ain't got a clue" and who would clearly rather have been doing anything else. What's more, he took me a fair way over my finishing time.

Then I was still unable to input my payclaim, as I had been yesterday. A number of us - but not all - have been having this problem this week, as our office's new financial year begins on 1 April but the pay system hasn't closed us out of the old year yet. I spoke to Kevin of the support team who tried something but was unable to help me, and initially offered me no advice until I pressed him, then he went away and talked to some people in another room then came back and said to wait until next week to input all this week's payclaims as the problem won't be resolved before then. Harrumph.

To Ferneham Hall this evening to see the regional finals of Live & Unsigned. Outside I saw Louise #3 from my office, with a T-shirt saying 'Vote for Becky'. This turned out to be the first contestant on, Becky Parvin - from Lee-on-the-Solent, so my home girl - whom I thought was very good. The finalists had a range of musical styles; they included a couple of heavy metal bands (one very shouty indeed!), some girls singing ballads, a solo boy and an R'n'B group. Several of the singers were quite good but one or two were pretty ordinary and with a couple of others you couldn't make the lyrics out.

Second from the end was a familiar face - young Lucy Machin, who's performed at a few events in Gosport over the last couple of years. She gave a strong, soulful rendition of Natasha Bedingfield's Soulmate.

The voting opened. We were able to vote for anyone, but the hosts told us that the judges would choose their six favourites and the act out of those six receiving the most public votes would go through to the national final. I cast a vote each for Becky and Lucy.

When votes closed, after a performance from B-Kay and Kazz (whose single we in the audience had been asked by the hosts to pre-order multiple times during the evening), the hosts announced that the winners were about to be unveiled, then said "Before we go on to that, the Exposure Award" which was a prize for gaining media coverage between the heat and tonight. When they declared one of the ballad-singing girls had won this prize I thought "She won't be in the judges' six" and I was right. These things exist purely as consolation prizes.

The way the final six were announced was bizarre - they were called 'Best Band Winner', 'Best Solo Artist Winner', 'Best Vocal Group Winner', 'Best Band Runner-Up' and two, both announced as 'Best Solo Artist Runner-Up' with no acknowledgement that they were identically titled. Becky was nowhere; Lucy was one of the Best Solo Artist Runners-Up. The winner was someone I'd thought was quite ordinary. No accounting for public tastes.

Went outside to wait for Jade and Vanessa. While I was out there I met Becky's fan club and said hello to Louise. When I told her I'd cast a vote for Becky she said "Bless you."

Jade and Ness arrived and we all hit the bar. When we'd been chatting and drinking about a quarter of an hour Jade said she was craving a big bag of Minstrels, and that while she was trying to watch her weight she thought she'd probably end up buying one. She didn't, just yet. By the time the girls were ready to shift their harrises into the hall the show had started, but B-Kay and Kazz were on stage when we sat down - we hadn't missed any of the contestants.

Most of the acts were OK but we only thought a couple were anything special. I still loved Zoe Mead, Jade loved Framed and we all liked the Fazers. Halfway through, Jade got up and left the foyer - Ness and I thought she'd gone to the loo, but she came back with...a big bag of Minstrels. The Daze still had all the enormous, loud fan club they'd brought to the semi, but they didn't all rush to the front and dance this time.

The voting showed just how badly the Live & Unsigned people want B-Kay and Kazz's single to be a hit! To vote you had to send a text message with the number of your favourite act; this message cost £1.50 - and in reply you got a code to download B-Kay and Kazz's single! You then had to write this validation code on your voting slip for your vote to count. In the end so many people didn't get replies - it was the lack of signal in the hall; I had to go out to the bar, where my bald crown got ruffled by a drunk, to text and get a reply - that they had to announce that everyone's text votes had been counted anyway.

Zoe and Framed made the judges' six but The Daze won. Jade wasn't impressed; I pointed out that they'd had their army of supporters there to all vote for them. Outside in the foyer we saw an ad for 'Route 66', an evening of four decades of classic American rock in May. Jade and I agreed to go; Ness didn't fancy it.

And so home to type this and hit the hay. 'Night folks.

Alan is Carole's husband. I guess I'd already given up hope anyway.

Only the Using IT module, an overview of everything we've already done, left to do on my ECDL now. Read the last chapter of the textbook for the first half-hour of class, then Pathenia came over and asked for my memory stick. She loaded a lot of multiple-choice tests onto it, which serve as practice for the exam - the first half-dozen each concentrated on a different aspect of the course, then the last few were essentially mock exams. Some of the questions had answers that hadn't been covered in the book; I knew some of them from working with computers generally, but others I had to guess. Fortunately you could do the tests over and over again - you got the same questions each time, but usually in a different order, with the different options for each question in a different order too. Whenever I got less than 95% on a test I'd move on to the next one, then go back and do the previous one again, and keep doing each one till I'd got at least 95% and knew the answer to every question (if you got a question wrong first time you got to keep guessing till you hit the right answer but didn't get a point). After I'd been working on them a while, Pathenia came over and said "Better than reading the book, isn't it?"

The canteen lady was back tonight, so I got my first coffee break in a month :)

I'd got up to my self-set standard on every paper by the end of the class, so just the real exam to do now in three weeks' time (college is closed for the next two weeks for school holidays).

Home to learn Hawks had drawn 1-1 at E*******h. While that really is the end for our play-off dreams, the writing's been on the wall for a while, and at least we didn't lose to the Spitefires, so I can't be too downcast.

Today was the start of the dreaded April-June quarter, in which we have to ask additional questions in the survey, putting a few extra minutes on each person's interview. The plus side is that the longer interviews make the shift go quicker; the minus side is that the chances of respondents getting bored/fed up are increased. Thank goodness, I didn't get any miseries tonight, but a couple of the extra questions are at the very beginning of each person's survey, and I got caught out a couple of times, starting to ask how long they've lived at their address (which normally comes first) then having to stop, say "sorry, I'll start again" and ask the new questions. Most of the work I got tonight was mop-ups from the end of the January-March quarter anyway, so it wasn't too bad all round.

And there was perfect Southern Fried chicken for lunch in the canteen :)

Meanwhile, the vending machines have disappeared. As from tomorrow we're getting new caterers, so today the workmen were in taking out the old machines ready for the new ones to go in tomorrow. So we weren't deprived of refreshment altogether, the Support Team set out a tray with tea, coffee, skimmed milk, coffee whitener and sugar, and there was a kettle available in the lounge. Just before 7 pm a lady arrived with a trolley, bearing not only the ingredients for making coffee and tea but also some flapjacks, cookies, crunch biscuits and bags of yoghurty nuts. "Chocolate!" one lady exclaimed excitedly as the trolley passed her.

"It's only biscuits," I told her. She wasn't best pleased. The goodies were a roaring success, though; they'd nearly all been pigged by 7.45.

Got to go watch Round The Horne Revisited.

An early start this morning - well, setting off from home at 7.45 am is early on a Sunday, especially when the clocks have just gone forward - for the girls' away game with Reading Reserves, which was being played in the Oxfordshire village of Woodcote.

The girl in The Bagel Factory at Reading station only charged me £3.87 for two bagels, the same two which normally cost me close to a fiver at Waterloo. Going by the receipt, it looks like there was a cheap 'breakfast' rate for buying two at that time of the morning. Not bad.

Leaving the station to wait for the bus to Woodcote I passed the Three Guineas pub, which advertised great food, lots of fun and Irish music. My budget wouldn't have extended to a pub meal on the way home, so made a mental note to check the place out if I ever visit Reading again.

Arrived at Woodcote Rec just after 12 noon and spotted three guys in Reading FC In The Community tracksuit tops taking goalposts out of a shed. I asked them if the women's game was there this afternoon and they said yes. Across the road from the Rec stood the Red Lion, with billboards promising the best pub grub in Woodcote, but I only had enough cash on me for something to eat on the way home so, with a wistful glance at the pub, I sat down on a bench to read Non-League Today.

At 12.30 I saw people in the distance beginning to get out of cars next to the changing room block and decided to go over in case it was the Hawk party (though I wasn't absolutely sure as there was a christening party going on in the same building). On my way round the edge of the Rec someone tapped on the window of the Red Lion - it was Rob, Dick and Trevor waving me in.

They congratulated me on finding this remote rural venue, and Trevor bought me a pint of Greene King IPA. After a little while they all drove off to the village Somerfield to buy after-match grub, leaving me alone with my pint and Non-League Today until, minutes later, WAGs Becky, Bernadette and Rosie arrived and we all chatted until 15 minutes before kick-off, when I made my way over to pitchside.

After just a few minutes Reading took the lead with a shot from close range. As they continued to have the better of the opening half-hour, while I continued to cheer our girls on as heartily as ever, inside I was thinking "Bollocks, we're stuck in this shite division again for next season." Soon after the goal Penny and Chantelle both jumped for a header, and Chantelle landed on Penny's ankle with a sickening crack. Penny gamely played on for a few minutes before being replaced by Jenna D - who, though not normally a central defender, played like a lion for the whole game and was deservedly voted Man of the Match.

The WAGs (who'd got the pub to give them plastic glasses to bring their pints of beer across) and subs weren't impressed with the ref, who didn't appear to be giving much to Hawks and booked Sam purely for opening her mouth after a controversial incident (she hadn't said anything out of turn). As the ref was allegedly the father of one of the Reading players, he got quite a bit of stick based on that, and his turn-of-phrase was mocked after, early in the game, he warned Rob "No swearing on my pitch". Jenna F was also booked for disputing a decision, but most refs would have given a yellow for that.

The turning point came after half an hour when we were awarded a penalty and Sam scored. While a draw would have been enough to keep our promotion hopes on track, Reading were a constant threat up to the half-time whistle. Penny wasn't amused when the ref told her to cover her shirt up; as she said, "I hardly look like I'm playing sitting here with my boot off and a broken ankle." Early in the second half Becky changed the "Penny, get your wand out" song to "Penny broke her wand"; "Chantelle broke my wand," Penny sang by way of correction.

On the hour mark Kelly, having trouble breathing, came off; Claire went on and galvanised the Hawks into constant attack. Chantelle lofted in a ball that the WAGs and substituted girls said was meant to be a cross, but floated beautifully into the top corner of the net. 2-1 Hawks.

Our girls had the upper hand from then on, though Reading had the odd bit of pressure, until Hawks were awarded a corner on 80 minutes. Jodie took it and curled the ball perfectly for Michelle to nod it in at the far post. From then it was game over and Lisa broke away to round the keeper and make it four in time added on.

At the final whistle the whole Hawk contingent erupted in celebration. This had truly been the performance of the season, and gives us one hand on the Championship trophy. As the players came off the field, Michelle, who'd presumably heard of my train and bus odyssey getting there, told me to give her my mobile number and she'd give me a lift to future away matches.

When the girls began coming out of the changing rooms I was invited to join them in their improvised al fresco feast of tuna sandwiches, little shortbread biscuits, Monster Munch and Fun Size chocolate bars, then we all headed across to the Red Lion for celebration drinks and Dick bought me an IPA this time. The Dick of the Day vote was suspended for this week - as Trev said, "there was no Dick of the Day in that performance". Rob offered me a lift to Fareham.

Home, via the kebab shop.

I tossed up all morning between Fareham Town v Wimborne Town and Moneyfields v Alton Town, but finally opted for Moneyfields. As I walked up from the Hard to Portsmouth city centre through the wind and rain to catch my bus, I reflected on how I could have stayed home and watched Victoria Pendleton go for gold.

On arriving at the clubhouse I made sure I got a Wells Bombardier bitter. This time there were only half a dozen people in the bar, and there was no food on offer - this turned out to be because of a wedding reception in the private function room, which took up the full attention of the catering staff.

I had enough dosh for a programme this time. I don't want to be too harsh on it, as it looks like there's just the one guy who does the whole programme - on one page he appealed for people to contribute stuff - but it was pretty basic, and included a report on Moneys' recent match with Poole Town that was written from the Poole point of view.

Called at the tea hut and requested a bacon roll, only to be crushed by one of the ladies saying "No bacon today. It's hamburgers or hot dogs." At that point I wished I'd gone to Fareham, home of the finest bacon rolls in English football. I went for a hot dog - not bad at all, especially compared to most football ground hot dogs. And they get a big plus for having HP sauce on the table.

The actual game was fairly eventful. On the quarter-hour Bickram Singh missed an open goal, but minutes later Jason Prior was able to score a sloppy goal to give Moneyfields the lead. Half-time saw people exchanging various rumours about the Portsmouth score before a bloke who had a personal stereo on, tuned to Radio Solent, settled the issue by confirming Pompey were 1-0 up. The second half saw an Alton player shove Bickram Singh in the back; Bik went down but the ref waved play on, to all-round discontentment in the stand (Bickram argued about it with the ref for a while but didn't get a card). The Moneys number 6 sent in a couple of rocket shots, but both were saved by the keeper; towards the end a speculative Alton cross appeared to be going in, but the goalie just managed to turn it over the bar. Moneyfields held on for the win. Sat behind me was a delightful old lady who, towards the end of the game, asked if anyone knew how the British cyclists had got on this afternoon

Into the clubhouse - much busier now than before the match - as I needed to visit the gents. With the scores coming in on Sky Sports News I asked a man who was intently watching the TV if the St Albans v Hawks score had come in yet. "I don't know, sorry," he replied. I then saw the carnation in his buttonhole and realised he was one of the wedding party. Just then, the result came up - St Albans 1 Havant & Waterlooville 0 ;( I met a married couple who were looking forward to their trip to Wembley next week. The twist? He supports West Bromwich Albion, she Portsmouth. "Divorce on the way home," they said to me.

Walked down to the bus stop and saw from the timetable that there wasn't a bus for 25 minutes. I walked back over Copnor Bridge, hoping there might be a direct bus to the Hard from the other side of the bridge; thank goodness, there was a bus stop just over the bridge, where a bus to the Hard was due in two minutes. It arrived bang on time.

At home I switched on Radio Solent to catch the non-league round-up. I was right to go to Moneyfields after all - Fareham's game was called off because of a waterlogged pitch.

After Harry Hill, went to Aunt Jean's for her 60th birthday celebrations. When I arrived Damo, partner of my cousin Gayle, was in the kitchen with Uncle Graham and my cousin Neil picking his ideal England team - or, as Neil put it, "the best we can do with the crap we've got". I joined their footy and rugby discussion for a while, until we were let loose on the food (lots of tasty chicken, pork, jacket spuds, nice spicy sausages and garlic bread) then repaired to the living room to all catch up on family goings-on, eat lemon birthday cake, drink strawberry champagne and make jokes about Aunt Jean being an O.A.P.

To the Windsor Castle this evening to see Kat Perrio. I'd first seen this talented young local chanteuse towards the end of my mother's deputy-mayoral year when she performed at a civic function, but through a combination of skintness and clashes with mayoral duties hadn't had a chance to catch her since.

She was superb. Her voice is very strong and she is magnificent at putting a song across. She did two great sets, with a mostly 90s flavour, including favourites of mine such as What's Up? and You're Still The One. I was only sorry she didn't do Stay (I Missed You) by Lisa Loeb which would have slotted in perfectly. Also included were some 80s numbers I absolutely love - One Way Or Another, Manic Monday, and (I will love her forever for this) Summer Of '69. When she announced "This is an oldie - for my parents", it was a little sobering when she struck up Manic Monday, a song that was a hit (and one of my big favourites) when I was 14. Then I remembered Kat is young enough to be my daughter...

Present in the pub was one of my heroes, local writer, anti-racism campaigner and ex-pro footballer Richie Moran. I got to say hello to him during the interval and gabble a few words about how much I love his written works, and how I'd seen him play for Gosport Borough when I was a youth. "Was I the fastest thing on two legs or what?" he grinned.

I also met Graeme, an old school pal who's now the pub chef - although he's leaving on Sunday to move to the Isle of Wight where he has a barman's job. We had a good chat for the rest of the interval about mutual friends, Kat, and how time's treated us both.

Home to read on the Hawks website that we've signed ex-Portsmouth striker Luke Nightingale from Bognor. Nice one Galey.